I Know I’ll Be Okay

It’s been a few weeks since things have “ended,” though, that’s not to say that we won’t find our way back to each other. I miss you like crazy. I crave your touch–your presence. I miss being in your arms and the kisses you’d randomly plant on my head, cheek, and neck. I miss how Could turnover and just see your smiling face. My heart is empty. I just miss late nights in my car with you. You said we needed to be friends first, but we aren’t even that. You barely say two words to me. I lost you. I feel seasick.. and I don’t think that I will ever get off this boat. I don’t dare look over the edge, and I don’t dare move from my spot. Because it’s not that I have forgotten to live without you, it is that you simply aren’t here anymore.


So, I had started writing this a couple days ago and then I made a drastic 180. I realized why you were acting the way you were acting. You are still developing, still growing (we all are but you know). Your frontal lobe is still being developed, so things are a bit blurry for you. You cannot commit, and you cannot see the most obvious things. This also has something to d with you being a boy and being oblivious. This is why you are doing things that do not make sense to me. Though I know this does not completely excuse your actions, it is helpful for me to finally have a glimpse of what is going on with you, though I am aware that there is more to this. I still miss you from time to time. I miss lying with you, feeling your arms wrapped around me. I miss being close to you, and your hugs. I miss being able to vent to you about any and everything. I miss so much, but I have to remind myself that it was your choice. Tomorrow will be one month. and I feel as though it has been one year.  I’m still here, in case you ever realize that you made a mistake and that you were wrong.

Our time will come….

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